Members of the UK parliament competed with one another on Monday afternoon to produce the most colorful and dramatic condemnations of Russia, pausing only to chastise their colleagues for not condemning Russia enough.
Theresa May, Prime Minister – appears to have concluded the investigation
“There are only two plausible explanations for what happened in Salisbury on March 4. Either this was a direct act by the Russian State against our country. Or the Russian government lost control of this potentially catastrophically damaging nerve agent and allowed it to get into the hands of others.”
Iain Duncan Smith, Conservative MP – a subtle reference to appeasing Adolf Hitler
“Russia is as close to being a rogue state as any. It occupies Crimea, it has helped occupy eastern Ukraine, it has created a hell on earth in Syria and is, even now, overseeing worse action. This is a country locking up its members of the opposition. We’ve learnt this lesson before, if we appease a country like this, then we [can] expect even worse.”
Chris Bryant, Labour MP – used terrorist attacks against Russia as evidence of Putin’s bloodlust
“I don’t suppose there’s a single member of this house … that is surprised President Putin would resort to violence because he’s done it so many times before. 334 killed in Beslan massacre, 170 killed unnecessarily in the Moscow theatre siege, 299 killed in the M17 airplane that was brought down by the Russians. Countless journalists, countless people who’ve stood up to him as political opponents in other countries around the world, murdered by him, and yes, Sergei Magnitsky.”
Tom Tugendhat, Conservative MP – begged NATO and the soon-to-be-abandoned EU to step in
“This, if not an act of war, was certainly a warlike act by the Russian Federation and this is not the first we’ve seen… Now is the time to call on our allies, to call on the EU which has worked with us so well on sanctions, on NATO and particularly on the US, to ask what they will do to assist us when we are in need?”
Rupa Huq, Labour MP – if the time for Bond clichés is not now, then when?
“Business cannot go on as usual. Can the Prime Minister take this opportunity to tighten the loopholes that do exist in the system, concerning money laundering, so that From Russia with Cash, doesn’t turn into From Russia with Blood?”